Seasons of change

Much like seasons, looking around

Nothing looks the same

And as the grays come in

Past lovers bread new generations

Old friends reach new fame

Big moments now memories

What will I see at the end of my days?

The world may turn slowly, but time waits for no human

I wonder how the sunrise will look when it rises again

Years later in the season of change

Hazel brown eyes

Heavenly blessings divine

A single grain of sand

In an hourglass

It seems a sin to waste a drop

When streams run dry

But in life abundant

Time is incumbent

The sky was close enough

With Arms stretched out

A star was touched

Somehow stationary, wings cut

Passion made of raging fire

Flames doused by so much

Once hot turn tabled cold to touch

Defeated by what is and what is not

-GP

Let my name be a stain in your history book

A blackened ink spill scarring your pages

Use no words of tenderness to describe me

For that man was an unfortunate causality

You may be tempted to ask, who hurt you?

Reducing the result to a moment or name

A babbitt’s attempt to make sense

Of an uncomfortable anomaly in your context

Uncovered under youthful warranty

The price we pay is naivety

And the cost of knowledge is pricy

However my debt is now been paid in full

I am no fragile soul shying away from hurt

Nor is there a broken heart to preserve

The beast inside has grown too big for his cage

And now I set him loose, unafraid of what I’ll lose.

-GP

Dearest you, ridiculous, insufferable utterly detestable

With cold indifference you wonder why I adore you

Well actually I abore you.

So much so I made a list of reasons why I don’t like you

You think the opposite of love is hate

I’ve never seen you finish a meal

Addicted to your phone

You don’t reply to your messages though

Thoughtful gestures are acts of treason

You share no sentiment for romantic comedies

You shed hair like Sasquatch leaving remnants

unpleasant reminders of your presence

You overthink everything to the point of indifference

Find no solace in your intelligence

Everything we do is a bad decision

Which makes you a liar and me a fool

Despite all those reasons, I can’t help but feel

With absolutely nothing to do

No salve or panacea to soothe unrequited emotions

Just angry words on a page with no eyes or ears to listen

-GP

I never knew about the ugly side of self love, the Instagram quotes don’t quite cover the part where you’re hurting and you feel like a stranger in your own skin.

They don’t talk about the deafening silence when you keep checking your phone for a crutch, anything or anyone that will distract you from the uncomfortable truth.

Why is it only ever the sad poems about heart break that speak about the weight of the world when you need to get up as all of you screams for you to stay in bed?

They make it seem glamorous and easy, like an extra sugar in your morning coffee. I guess no one wants to ruin the surprise.

They never tell you that it’s something you have to do everyday and they never have advice for the days you fail.

We’ve got movies, books and monologues for the love we give others and yet we can hardly string together two sentences about the love we give ourselves. Like when we talk about soulmates, we actually only ever think about that second half.

Self love seems like a pariah, a dark magic used by spinsters and old hermits on secluded mountain tops. A lonely journey you filled with nothing but tragedy in solitude and mind bending isolation until you have this eureka moment! And then poof!… all of a sudden we love ourselves.

The irony is that for those that dare to take a single step, the psychopaths who tread but an inch in that direction. They find themselves surrounded by love in all its forms, kissed by joy and sorrow just the same. For to love oneself is to love the world and everything in it. We alone are but irrelevant specks in a universe timeless and infinite.

Self love is the meaning we give our lives. Self love is that budget that we really don’t like sticking to, it’s that diet we’re starting next week Monday. Self love is getting rid of that toxic relationship. Self love is all the hard things we do because we know we deserve better. Self love is not just daring to dream, it’s having the courage to actually go for it.

When we say yes to loving ourselves, we say yes to the universe, we say yes to all the things we ever wanted…

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling to love yourself, you’re not alone. All I ask, is that when you read it again, read it in a deeper voice.

-GP